The Beauty of Life in the Face of Death

08 Jun The Beauty of Life in the Face of Death

Posted at 13:00h in Articles by

This is the fifth and final post in the series on Your Precious Life. In case you missed it, here’s Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four. In it we’ll find the beauty of life even in the face of death.

Some may find this post and experiential practice emotionally intense. Please only go as far as you are comfortable with.

No matter what your religious – or existential – orientation may be, it is an undeniable fact that every year contains two special days.

One you know for sure: the anniversary of your birthday.

One you do not know: the “pre-anniversary” of the day of your death sometime down the road.

Allowing the possibility that this day, this moment, could be the pre-anniversary of your death can add to the preciousness and beauty of every moment of your life.

Interwoven into the beauty of the present moment is the inevitability of decay and death.

Interwoven into the decay and death of the present beauty is the creation of future beauty.

Let’s do a practice together and embrace this preciousness.

Imagine it’s that day, and you are lying in a comfortable bed, with one or more loved ones by your side. There is no pain, you are comfortable, and you know that in a minute or two your body will die.

You accept that and are at peace with that fact. You have lived a great, full life.

You are not bothered by anything that happens. Not troubled, not hurt, not pained, not alarmed, not afraid. You are floating in peaceful, bare awareness as your body starts shutting down.

Your body’s breathing is getting lighter and softer . . . breaths wispy . . . slowing down . . . Heartbeat also slowing down . . . Breath and heart beat coming more intermittently . . . seeming to end for a moment, then another very light breath and another light heartbeat . . . getting softer and softer . . . Awareness remaining peaceful . . . A calm letting go . . . Absorbed in a peaceful well-being . . .

Soon the lights in the brain start to go out … Still calm awareness, floating in peace.

The nerve cells in the innermost, most central structures of the brain stem are the last to die . . . As they go, so go the last shreds of the awareness, of the consciousness, that is a product of the brain. . . .

Physically, it is all quiet . . . .

Floating in peace.

Take some time in silence to reflect on the personal meaning of the meditations you just did. You can leave your eyes closed or open them. You can write things down or simply think for yourself.

Here are a few questions perhaps to consider:

  • What are the important messages for you from the meditations?
  • What are the key things to be for, in your life?
  • What is involved in being for yourself? What could you be for, that would feed the roots of your life?
  • What are the key ways, looking ahead, that you want to continue or to start being more for your own well-being and growth?

Anything you do for yourself, whether small or large, will help make your life better, for your own benefit and that of other beings.

You don’t have to make a big lunge in some direction – unless you really want to – and it’s fine to take small steps over and over again . . . which is how anyone climbs the tallest mountains.

Tags:


Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and expert on the impact of toxic narcissism. She is a Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and also a Visiting Professor at the University of Johannesburg.

The focus of Dr. Ramani’s clinical, academic, and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations. She has spoken on these issues to clinicians, educators, and researchers around the world.

She is the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist, and Don't You Know Who I Am? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. Her work has been featured at SxSW, TEDx, and on a wide range of media platforms including Red Table Talk, the Today Show, Oxygen, Investigation Discovery, and Bravo, and she is a featured expert on the digital media mental health platform MedCircle. Dr. Durvasula’s research on personality disorders has been funded by the National Institutes of Health and she is a Consulting Editor of the scientific journal Behavioral Medicine.

Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He is a former president of the Society for Psychophysiological Research and has been president of the Federation of Behavioral, Psychological, and Cognitive Sciences, which represents approximately twenty-thousand biobehavioral scientists. He’s led a number of other organizations and received a wide variety of professional awards.

In 1994 he proposed the Polyvagal Theory, a theory that links the evolution of the mammalian autonomic nervous system to social behavior and emphasizes the importance of physiological states in the expression of behavioral problems and psychiatric disorders. The theory is leading to innovative treatments based on insights into the mechanisms mediating symptoms observed in several behavioral, psychiatric, and physical disorders, and has had a major impact on the field of psychology.

Dr. Porges has published more than 300 peer-reviewed papers across a wide array of disciplines. He’s also the author of several books including The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation.

Dr. Bruce Perry is the Principal of the Neurosequential Network, Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy, and a Professor (Adjunct) in the Departments of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago and the School of Allied Health at La Trobe University in Melbourne, Australia. From 1993 to 2001 he was the Thomas S. Trammell Research Professor of Psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine and chief of psychiatry at Texas Children's Hospital.

He’s one of the world’s leading experts on the impact of trauma in childhood, and his work on the impact of abuse, neglect, and trauma on the developing brain has impacted clinical practice, programs, and policy across the world. His work has been instrumental in describing how traumatic events in childhood change the biology of the brain.

Dr. Perry's most recent book, What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing, co-authored with Oprah Winfrey, was released earlier this year. Dr. Perry is also the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children, and Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered. Additionally, he’s authored more than 300 journal articles and book chapters and has been the recipient of a variety of professional awards.

Dr. Allison Briscoe-Smith is a child clinical psychologist who specializes in trauma and issues of race. She earned her undergraduate degree from Harvard and then received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of California, Berkeley. She performed postdoctoral work at the University of California San Francisco/San Francisco General Hospital. She has combined her love of teaching and advocacy by serving as a professor and by directing mental health programs for children experiencing trauma, homelessness, or foster care.

Dr. Briscoe-Smith is also a senior fellow of Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and is both a professor and the Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at the Wright Institute. She provides consultation and training to nonprofits and schools on how to support trauma-informed practices and cultural accountability.

Sharon Salzberg is a world-renowned teacher and New York Times bestselling author. She is widely considered one of the most influential individuals in bringing mindfulness practices to the West, and co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts alongside Jack Kornfield and Joseph Goldstein. Sharon has been a student of Dipa Ma, Anagarika Munindra, and Sayadaw U Pandita alongside other masters.

Sharon has authored 10 books, and is the host of the fantastic Metta Hour podcast. She was a contributing editor of Oprah’s O Magazine, had her work featured in Time and on NPR, and contributed to panels alongside the Dalai Lama.

Get the Just One Thing
Weekly Newsletter

A simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind and heart.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

You can unsubscribe at any time and your email address will never be shared.